Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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