Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
