cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
