do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
