How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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