someone owes me an orgasm
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
