Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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