remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
