He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
