Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
