Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Edward fifth and chaser hands
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
