spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
