Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
