i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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