my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
