Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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