If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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