how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
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he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
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Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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