yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
