I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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