wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
