Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
