you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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