You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
