where am i from again
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
