I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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