Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
