You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
