I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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