I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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