Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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