love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
