they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
This house was built for laser tag.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
