Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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