I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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