Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
