He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize