Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
