the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
