Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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