They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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