im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
