I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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