what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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