and i looked up. we had an audience...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I could fuck to npr.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
its liver damage thursday
Randomize