didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
