omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
