Umm I'm too high to move.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize