i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
