I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
