Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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