Grow some girl-balls and come out already
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
