i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Liz is crying about burritos again.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
