I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
