I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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