I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
