a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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