Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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