wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
