loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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