She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
