is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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