He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
