from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
This baby is an asshole
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
