i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
