I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
