You're completely useless in the revolution.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
